I'm not strong enough to do this on my own

It took 24 hours but the whole Jodi situation has caught up with me and I'm not coping well now. Being left alone with my thoughts when I have nothing else to think about is killing me.

I think it's time to restart therapy as I'm not strong enough to fight this on my own. I am more damaged than I care to admit and for my generally calm exterior most of the time, I'm constantly fighting an internal war. I fear for my sanity, what remains of it anyway.

I always thought I was the strong one in friendships, but it turns out that I was always the one who needed the other person.

I need help!