The bitter taste of defeat

Hello all

Short entry this

As I write this I am sat in New College Nottingham and have just found out that I didn't win the creative writing competition I mentioned a long time ago. Apparantly my entry was too "dark" for their tastes, which is a bit strange as creative writing doesn't have to be all happy clappy.

So I figure I might as well share my "dark" entry with you all.

I was inspired by a song called "Sometime around Midnight" by Airborne Toxic Event. It's along a similar theme of someone seeing someone that they used to love and not coping well with it.

The one who left my heart on the floor by ~nathanjackson It started at roughly midnight. Or at least that's when I started to lose what was left of my mind As I got served at the bar under neon lights. The jukebox is playing some irrelevant and predictable song It's telling me to forget what she did but I know that it just feels so wrong. And then I see her, the one who I once loved A vindictive and cerebral loathing to her false smile in my general direction. And she's wearing that dress that reminds me of her vicious rejection. She walks up and asks "how are you". I can smell her perfume and I get visions of the memory of her lying naked in my arms. She says that she's sorry and wants me to forgive her tonight My emotions are in turmoil, my love and hate in an almighty fight I'm polite, although I give the impression I don't care My passionless exterior is hiding my desperate inside She says she's sorry and touches the tattoo on my arm of my name and her's And all these memories come flooding back like violent waves to my mind. The curves of our bodies and our love that had became perfectly entwined, I want to forgive her but the paranoia in my head just subtlely inclines, And I feel hopeless and homeless in my own fragile insanity. And so hours pass whilst I try to survive My sanity is slipping and negative thoughts can only dance and thrive She's dancing, she's drinking, she's living life one moment at a time And whilst stood feet away my anger and loathing do nothing but rapidly climb. I don't even want her, at least that's what I tell myself But not matter how she hurts me I always want to go back for more. She's my drug, she's my love, she's the one who leaves my heart on the floor Then she left with someone even she doesn't know. And in her vindictive way she made sure I saw her. She looks right at me as if to say goodbye for good. My heart falls faster than even she could have predicted I realise at this moment that with her I am totally addicted. I want her to be mine again but now it is too late I want her to know that I forgive her, to give it one more go is my only desire But yet again I got caught in my own emotional and vengeful crossfire So there I am, alone on the dancefloor I am broken and down and ready for the evening to end Heartbroken in the corner, my emotions are too painful and sore. It's too late that I have realised what might have been again My paranoia played tricks on me that are completely and totally inhumane And now I know that she has once again broken me in two.