Reasons I hate London

Hello all

Today I went to London and it was one of the most incensing trips to our capital that I think I've ever had. Why the fuck people would ever holiday in London, I will never know. You go on a holiday to relax, something that is impossible in London. So, here is a list of everything I hate about London.

"Busy" queue jumpers

You're in, let's say for argument's sake, a coffee shop and there's a line, all of a sudden someone walks in and just walks straight to the counter as says "coffee, black, to take out" and when told by the staff and the queue that they have just pushed in front of that they will have to go to the back of the line, they say "I'm too busy to wait in line and am due in an urgent meeting!"

If this only happened once or twice then I wouldn't mind, but at one point a few months ago I was waiting in a Starbucks and on four occasions in the same queue, someone came in and tried to jump queue because they were "too busy" to wait.

Randomly direction changers

So you're walking behind someone and perfectly minding your business......all of a sudden the person changes direction randomly and without warning, you almost walk into them and they look at you as if it's your fault.

I know you can get this anywhere but in a 35 minute walk from Wimpole St to Kings Cross today, this happened on at least 8 occasions.

"Have a newspaper"

So, I'm in WH Smiths today, I have a bottle of water and some haribo, I get to the self service till and I scan in the water and all of a sudden the "helper" just scans in a newspaper for me.

"What are you doing?"
"It works out cheaper if you get the newspaper."
"Well how about asking me before you scan it in. I don't want the newspaper and don't care if it works out cheaper, so take that newspaper off of there now!"

He didn't have authority so had to get a team leader to do it, I told them what had happened....they weren't impressed with the person.

The amount of people in London trying to give you a newspaper is ridiculous. I could probably collect a tree's worth of paper in a day if I wanted to.

Central London - Yeah, it looks nice, but move a few miles down the road and London is not pleasent

Groups gathering

So, the path is quite narrow and it's the middle of the day, meaning that there are a lot of people about. What you don't need in this case is groups of people just hanging about in the middle of the path and forcing people to bottle neck, and much like everything else on this list, this happens a hell of a lot more in London than anywhere else and on the 35 minute walk I mentioned earlier, I had to stop four times because groups were causing bottle necks and people walking the other way weren't allowing other people through.

I have no problem with people gathering, just as long as it's not on a narrow path.

Oi, dickhead, someone is behind you.

Slow walkers in confined spaces. Enough said.

I know you go to this tube stop before me, but.......

Much like most other train systems in the world, there is an attitude of "I don't care how long you've been

waiting, I am getting on this train before you," but I have never seen it in action as much as on the Underground. Infact, on several occasions I have seen someone run past the people waiting for those to get off of the tube before getting on themselves, yes, running past them. It wasn't even busy.

The tube is a test of patience, endurance and most importantly, trying not to lose your sanity. I never willingly subject myself to it during the middle of the day and it's only in the evenings it becomes relatively tolerable, that is unless you're getting on at the first few stops on the route before it goes into central London.

"London is brilliant"

There are those that claim that London is brilliant, mostly Londoners, not, whilst the touristy bits are nice, about 90% of London is a proper shit hole. Whilst the central areas of properly nice, during my life I have visited various other areas of London where words such as "glamourous" certainly do not apply.

I'll bring this into some sort of context and base this on the assumption that "if it's on the tube routes, it's in London" and on that, I have been around the areas of Barnet, Leyton and Dagenham, amongst others, and they were all complete shitholes. I mean seriously, one of the most common lines of 2012 was "The Olympics showcases all of the brilliant bits about London" and my immediate response was "yeah, but it ignores the other 90%.

Seriously, London is, for the majority, a shithole. Like every city and town, it's has it's nice areas and it's shit areas, but nowhere that I have been to has a higher ratio of shit places to nice places.

Again, it looks nice and pleasant.....but then again so do many of the world's most dangerous plants