New housemates, transgender and proud, and other updates

Hello all

I trust everyone is well?

I figure that I haven't done many updates recently so I will give you an update on my life, oh yes, thrilling stuff indeed.

Firstly, I'm going to share a song that I have found recently that I love. It's called Dream Catcher by a band called Set It Off. It's about achieving what you want in live (more on that later). You only have one life (I'm going to say that stupid chavtastic phrase) and this song is all about that.

Well the biggest change in my life recently is that I have new housemates. Dan, Andrew and Jim all moved out in the last month and for about a week I was completely on my own in the house, it was quite strange. Then last Saturday I came home to find two new housemates waiting for me, Natalie and Amaury. Natalie is a girl from the Manchester area and Amaury is from France, and although things are relatively early, I actually quite like them. I had an in depth conversation with Natalie a few nights ago and other than the fact she likes the Samsung Galaxy Note, she seems reasonably sane. Both are a definite improvement on Dan.

Another thing I have become involved in recent is Vodafone's new drive to promote an LGBT network within the company. It is really strange to become involved in something like that because I have often struggled to connect with other members of the trans community. I am a member of a trans group called Chameleons on the outskirts of Nottingham but have only really developed a friendship with one of them, but other than that one person the only thing I have in common with any of them is that we are all on the LGBT spectrum somewhere.

Anyway, I recently went for a night out in London with the Vodafone LGBT community and it was strange because whilst not strictly different from Chameleons, I felt like I belonged. It didn't just feel like 15-20 random people in the same room, I had a lot in common with these people. It was helped by my friend Catherine going with me (and she ended up staying a lot longer than I did), but it was nice just to have a real connection with people. For the first time in a while I was proud to be part of the LGBT community, something I haven't felt for some time.

IN THIS NEXT BIT I TALK ABOUT PHYSICAL CHANGES, AVOID UNTIL THE NEXT BOLD BIT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT THIS STUFF

As for body changes, things are proving a bit unusual in several senses.

My body has started to develop breasts, however, they are far from consistent in their appearance. Some days they will barely be there at all, but then on other days they are right there sticking out. It's awesome to see them coming through, but it would be nice if they were always there when I looked in the mirror, rather than sporadic appearances here and there.

I have noticed that my skin is certainly getting a lot smoother as well, and my hair is growing noticeable faster than it was before. Body hair is starting to become a bit patchy. I was never overly hairy but it was still there, and whilst I keep shaving and it comes back, some of it has now stopped coming back and it's well on the way to stop growing on my torso alltogether.

OK, YOU'RE SAFE AGAIN

Away from new housemates and being transgender to my long term plans. I have started taking steps to relocate. I can't go into it too much just yet but in the near future things might start moving on. I don't want to jinx it because I have a habit of getting too excited about things, but things are looking up in many ways. I think I just need a new start in a new area, a place where I don't know anything and no-one knows me. Whilst I make it seem like nothing bothers me, it bugs me to tell when people call me Nathan, even though Nathan hasn't been my name for some time now. Fortunately the people who I've only known for a few months have no choice but to call me Kate because they have never been known as Nathan, and moving to a new area where no-one knows that my name used to be Nathan will be very good.

Hopefully moving to a new area will also help me start to achieve some personal goals of being able to process in various aspects my life. I just feel stale at the moment and I feel like the menu on a DVD, constantly looping over and over again until someone presses play or off.

These have been thoughts that have dominated by life for some time and they're not helped by the Red Bull adverts that I keep seeing. These adverts are of people doing what they love and they keep making me feel like I have wasted my life. I want to do something I can get passionate about, and hopefully going to a brand new area will afford me that opportunity.

But anyway, I will leave it there.

Peace Out!

In the film industry they would call this a plot-twist

Hello all

I trust all is well?

Life took an interesting twist over the last few days. I have made no secret of my desire to live in another country/a different area of the country at some point in my life but this week two unexpected twists happened.

The first came at work and whilst I can't go properly into it, I did considerably better that I was expecting to do at something. Again, I know that sounds quite cryptic but trust me, it was a very good thing and previously I had actively looking elsewhere.

Then came Friday morning. I had been warned by my letting agent that the landlady was going to be doing an inspection....what it actually turns out is that the house I am renting out has been put up for sale by the landlady.....it's nice to be told these things, isn't it? I'm told that it won't be sold until June at the earliest, and even after that I will be given two months notice. I have been assured by the rental agency that my tenancy is secure for the length of the contract, even if the property is sold.....but even then it's a less than ideal situation......especially as the property is very convenient. It's all bills inclusive and is slap bang in the middle of both of my jobs.

I also get new people to share the house with soon, Casey, whom I work with at Lord Ted, is moving in next week, but before then I get two girls moving in tomorrow, Amaury and Natalie, it will certainly be interesting to live with new people, and they can't be any worse than what Dan was.....famous last words.

Oh well, until next time.

Hormones, Quotes, Places and Seeking a Friend

Hello all

Due to several people requesting it, I have decided to write a blog about how life is treating me.

Well I suppose I should start with the obvious major part of my life at the moment and that's changing gender. It's March 4th and today marks three months since I started on hormones. It's been an interesting few months with various changes going on already. Whilst I won't claim to have changes that people can notice, there are one or two things that have started. Breasts are starting to come through but strangely their size seems to be affected by the temperature. If it's normal room temperature then you can see a difference and a definite early breast formation, if it's cold then it seems to disappear, it's quite strange in many ways.

Me as I appear after three months on hormones

There have been minor other changes as well. My hair is now growing at a much faster rate and body hair certainly seems to have lowered, with bits I shave off not coming back in as much quantity as before. I have also had more facial hair removed, well, I'll reclarify that, I had the upper lip area redone. I was advised after the first time that some of the hair would grow back....and about 1/4 of it did, I subsequently had that removed, although after the previous attempt left me in tears (literally) due to going pain free, I definitely took the injections this time....it made things a lot easier to say the least.

Other than that things are pretty much the same with changing gender. It's a long process and I'm still at the start so major change at the moment isn't to be expected really.

Away from changing gender and I'm still looking for something I can be passionate about, you know, that thing that I want to do for the rest of my life. I'm 28 and still don't know what I want to do, some say that's a good thing, other's say it's a bad thing. I think the below quote sums it up at the moment......

"I want to wake up every morning with apassion; I want to wake up with a smile on  my face; and be able to say I love what I do" - Paul Miser


I think once I am doing changing gender that I might take a year out from everything and go and see the world. I want to expand my horizons whilst I'm still young and I can't do that staying in England. It will all start in less than 3 months when I go to Barcelona for a few days, and are plenty of places that I want to have on my "visited" list in the coming years, that list still includes Tromso (Norway) and I intend to visit there within the next 12 months or so.

Speaking of other places, I recently went to a Yellowcard concert in Manchester and whilst I didn't enjoy it, I did actually meet two new friends outside of the venue, Martha and Elizabeth. It was a really strange experience talking to those girls as they said that they live on the outskirts of Manchester but were staying in a hotel for the night. It was just part of a three hour spell talking to them where they kept hitting each other, encouraging each other go and get food and numerous other things, it was quite amusing and definitely helped to pass the time.

Their friendship got me thinking though. I started thinking that it would be nice to be able to go to places, such as concerts, with a friend. Since I moved to Newark eleven months ago, I have failed to make a single friend that wasn't involved with either of my employees. I don't view colleagues as true friends, and I don't mean that in a harsh way, and to use another quote.....

"The people you work with are people you were just throw together with. You know, you don't know them, it wasn't your choice, and yet you spend more time with them then you do your friends or your family. But probably all you've got in common is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet for 8 hours a day" - Tim (The Office)

.....I look at all of the people I work with, and have worked with throughout time, and there are probably two people that I have met through work that I hang out with when I'm not at work on a semi regular basis, Charlie and Ellen, who are arguably my two closest friends....neither of them live anywhere near Newark. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of friends who I have worked with, but how many I hang out with on a regular basis is not a high number at all. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want a friend who I can just hang out with on a regular basis, someone who I can go to concerts with, hang out and play pool with, and so on.

I suppose it links in with a film I saw recently called "Seeking A Friend For the End of the World." It just got me thinking about friends and if a situation happened of a similar nature, how many people would want to hang out with me at some point? I came to the conclusion that the answer would be "not many, if any"....not that it bothers me to an extent, but as I say it'd just be nice to have someone who I could see on a regular basis that I have a lot in common with.

I did contemplate moving to Leeds recently so that I could see Ellen or Charlie on a more regular basis, which would be awesome, and you never know, maybe that's a change I need in life. The happiest time of my life was when I was able to mix work and social life. It was the only time when I can say that I was truly socialable every single day.

Oh well, I suppose I should leave this there and let you get on with the rest of your evening, so until next time, peace out.