As many of you know, I am quite particular when it comes to things being correct. I ran a website for about 9 years based on Lincoln City and although I got the occasional thing wrong, such as once saying a player had had a very quiet game even though he hadn't actually played (whoopsie), I generally checked information that I was talking about.
Then on Saturday I went and bought a book, the biography of Lincoln's ex-manager Keith Alexander. I don't buy many books, and even rarer reading any book I do buy. In recent times I have bought a few books which haven't been touched to this day, I just rarely have the time to be honest, or quickly lose interest. The last novel I read fully was "Fight Club" by Chuck Palahniuk, the book that the film is based on, and that was in 2005 whilst working in a call centre and waiting for calls, the only book I've read since is the autobiography of Chris Moyles.
Anyway, I read through the book within 48 hours of buying it, including a massive session whilst waiting for a train on Monday for three hours and whilst I loved the book, the fact that there are numerous errors gets to me.
There's small ones such as saying Mark Bailey scored from 60 yards against Carlisle in a 4-1 victory, even though the goal came in a 2-0 win the season after the game that was being talked about, and then there's big ones.
On the right is a picture of Keith Alexander (right), Gary Simpson (middle) and Keith Oakes (left) and yet the caption is "Keith and the two Garys take in the Millennium Stadium." It's stuff like this that does get to me because it shows that someone hasn't gone through and checked for mistakes like this.
There are other mistakes as well, such as Gareth McAuley's name being mentioned twice in a very short space of time (in about one or two lines) but not being spelt the same (one is the correct McAuley and the other is McCauley), refering to Bournemouth as the "Poppies" (Poppies is the nickname of Kettering Town, Bournemouth's nickname is the Cherries) and not to forget saying that a friendly against Manchester City took place in November when it actually happened in July.
It's such a shame in that what is otherwise an excellent book, the lack of checking basic stuff such as this distracted me. But it's not all bad and other than the lack of checking the basic stuff, there was nothing I disliked about the book. There were many bits during the book where I laughed as it is quite a well told story, and brings back many of my own personal memories of meeting Keith Alexander. Keith was one of the nicest blokes I have ever met and that is reflected in the book numerous times and I would recommend the book to anyone.
For the second time the Bantre (no, not banter) Bus was out in force as the Imps made the trip to Cambridge United. It was also the first time that I had done a video since last December after falling out of love with football, but I decided to come back and have started with a 42 minute video.....
For me it was also the first time I have been to an awesome game as Kate and it went reasonably well. I'm gaining confidence all the time but am still terrified every time I leave my flat, so to go to an away game and nothing happen was awesome.
Hello all In 1997 there was an article produced in the Chicago Tribune called ""Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young" and that was eventually turned into a song by Baz Luhrmann. It is basically a piece about advice on things you should do. I has turned into something of an inspiration for myself as it holds a lot of things that I think are very true.
So, I have decided to share with you three things that I live by these days and hopefully some of them can inspire you like that song inspires me. Don't dream dreams, live them
As most of you probably know, I am currently planning to undergo a sex change. After spending nearly 28 years of my life as Nathan, the last five/six weeks of living as Kate have been fantastic. My only regret with spending the last five/six weeks as Kate is that I didn't do it sooner. I spent my entire live dreaming of the life that I am on the verge of and I hate that I didn't take this opportunity sooner. If you have a dream, or an ambition, do everything you can to realise that dream/ambition. The only person stopping you is yourself. If you want it badly enough then you'll find a way to do it. Obviously be realistic with your targets though, as disappointment will only follow if you set your targets unrealistically. Do everything you can to live your life the way you want to live it. We only get one chance to live how we want to live, do you really want to look back at pictures of yourself now when you're in your 70s and realise that now was the best chance to do what you wanted to do. Don't live a life of regret, do what you want and more importantly how you want to. If it is important to you then don't look for excuses not to do it, look for the inspiration to finally do it. Obviously I realise that the amount of people who are reading this blog who are/will be changing their gender is quite slim, but the general message remains the same. Whether it's something like changing your gender, or something small like buying a dress that you've wanted to buy for a long time, go for it. If it's what you want then go for it. Don't let others tell you that you can't do it or that you shouldn't, do it. Do it for you and not for others. Go for it. What's the worst that could happen?
Review, don't regret I look back on situations I've had during my life that would have seen me live a completely different life and it's strange in the sense that even the smallest decisions can change everything? It's natural to look back on moments during your life and try and figure out how much of a different they would have made. My one big "what if" moment came back in 1999 when I had fallen in love with a girl called Becky Lavelle. Me and her had become good friends as we lived near each other and often walked back together off of the bus from school. One night we were both at a party and a romantic song came on and she wanted to dance with me. She offered her hand and I turned her down. What If? Do I regret rejecting her request? On some levels, yes. Who knows where it would have lead, but I wouldn't be the person I am today if I had accepted her hand. I believe that the person you are is better than the person you could have been in a "what if" situation as you never know how you would have changed. Yes, the immediate situation could have easily been better, but long term would it be better? You never know. Don't regret not taking a chance that's presented to you, you may regret it short term but on the long term you could realise that it's a good thing. You are who you are because of the opportunities you took and didn't take, don't regret your decision either way, review it and see how it's influence your life, and it will better prepare you for later life. Tolerate the intolerant Despite it being covered quite extensively in the media these days, there is obviously still a lot of people who severely disagree with anything from the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community, and no matter what I do, I know it will never be universally accepted. It comes down to a famous quote - "You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time," or in short, you're never going to please everyone so don't worry about those that you can't please because they're not worth your time. I don't get angry at those who give me abuse for wanting to be female (thankfully there aren't too many of those these days), I pity them for not being tolerant of others in their lives. If they are going to live their lives being intolerant of anything that is different to how they live their life then there's only one person who's going to suffer and it's not the person they're abusing. Don't give in to hating, let the disappointments drive you Sure, get angry every now and then. There's nothing wrong with losing your temper every now and then, it's a perfectly human emotion. Point out to me a person who has never gotten angry and I guarante you at some point they have lost their temper, it's virtually impossible not to. I used to get angry on a regular basis but then I was taught that there's no point in getting angry over things that I can't control, from that point onwards I have become quite mellow with most situations.
Throughout my life I have had a lot of situations where I have hated people for how they negatively impacted my life. Infact, on a lot of occasions in the past I cut people out of my life completely because of how angry I used to get with them and I hated some people to such an extent that my hatred became unhealthy. I didn't deal with disappointment well but now that I have learnt not to give into hating, I see where these people have made a positive impact on me. I look back on my friendship with Maz and I hated her for turning me into a really paranoid guy, however, now I appreciate that she, in a strange way, has helped me in the sense that I am no longer as gullible as I used to be. I used to believe anything that people told me, but Maz made me naturally suspicious of virtually anyone, and whilst this isn't ideal, it has helped as I question a lot of things now that I wouldn't have otherwise done. When mine and Jodi's friendship ended in March I hated her for a few weeks, but looking back the situation with her has taught me that I can't get too dependant on people, especially when it gets to the point when even just a few days of not speaking to someone who I considered a close friend felt like torture. Infact, it was the end of my friendship with Jodi and the subsequent weeks of me questioning a few things mentally that convinced me it was time to become female.....almost ironic given that one of the last things she ever said to me was that she hated me talking about wanting to be female. I could have hated both of those girls, and many others, for how things ended and what happened, but what happened can not be changed, so what is the point in getting angry at the situation? I only wish I had realised that at the time because it would have save a lot of trouble. For what it's worth, if either Maz or Jodi read this blog, I only wish you both the best in whatever you choose to do with your lives, and as my first point in this blog goes, don't dream your dreams, live them. Don't regret anything. Anyway, there is no point in hating people, instead of hate just take your time and look at the situation, assess it and see what the situation teaches you, and run with it. Obviously there will be people who you think will teach you nothing, but just look at every person you know, either as a friend or not, and everyone will teach you something. I know a lot of people hate me and I can't say I blame them for what I did to them, however, I hope that one day they can take lessons out of what happened like I have been doing with situations that I have come across.
For the last three months I've relatively enjoyed my Saturday afternoons but that is about to be spoilt by the re-introduction of Lincoln City. However, this isn't going to be a blog where I slag off the Imps, instead I am going to look back on five of my favourite trips following Lincoln City, what made them good days and various other aspects of the day.
Please note that these are not necessarily in order of preference.
So....here we go.
SCUNTHORPE UNITED 1 LINCOLN CITY 3 - 2003/4 SEASON
Brian Laws - Is actually quite a good manager, it's
just a pity he's a bit of a prick.
Back at this time the Imps were awesome. We had just come off of the back of a season where we had been favourites for relegation and made the Playoffs, and that season included beating local rivals Scunthorpe United in three of the four meetings.
At the time the Imps and the Iron were sharing a bitter rivalry and the Playoff games had both been heated affairs, not helped by Brian Laws' (Scunthorpe manager) antics during the first leg, when he invaded the pitch after Scunthorpe scored their third goal, antagonised the Stacey West Stand and refuse to shake Keith Alexander's hand at the end of the game.
Despite a slow start to the 2003/4 season, the Imps were starting to kick into gear by the time that City visited Glanford Park in October 2003. To say the Imps dominated would be an understatement of the highest order. I make no exaggeration when I say that we could, and probably should have scored six or seven that day. It was one of the most one sided games I have ever seen in my life.
For my match report from my old Lincoln City site - CLICK HERE (please note that I have not edited that link since the day it was written)
It was just an awesome day to be an Imps fan and that fact that Scunthorpe fans were even applauding our team said it all. We were just vastly superior to Scunthorpe at the time, which seems very bizarre now given that they had spent virtually every single since at least one division above us.
Lincoln ended the season in the Playoffs, whereas Scunthorpe, who were regulars in the promotion hunt, were almost relegated. They would also comically sack Brian Laws, only to then hire him back three weeks later. Both would be involved in the promotion hunt the following season and Scunthorpe won promotion to League One, whereas City lost their second Playoff Final in three seasons. The last League meeting between the two was a 2-0 win to the Imps in March 2005.
GRIMSBY TOWN 2 LINCOLN CITY 4 - 2004/5 SEASON
So I was walking to the train station after this game and the following conversation just took place....
Them : "Lincoln are fucking shit."
Me : "We're shit and we just beat you 4-2, so what does that make Grimsby?"
He sheepishly went quiet. It was a strange walk back to the train station as there was me, a lone Lincoln fan, in a march of Mariners fans, and yet other than that nothing was said, infact one group of Grimsby fans, who even admitted to being part of Grimsby's firm, walked with me to the train station to, in their own words "make sure I got back there without any trouble," and they weren't even heading there themselves....it was quite bizarre. I don't think that would happen these days, especially after the thread about me on "The Fishy" a few weeks back.
This was all back in the days when the Imps had good fortunes against their county neighbours but when the two sides met in January 2005, few could have predicted how much of an impact it would have on Lincoln's season. City went into the game struggling to maintain a Playoff push and the fact that no-one was scoring on a regular basis at that point didn't help. The Imps were on the outskirts of the Playoffs but were playing poorly and were struggling to beat some very poor sides, which for a side which contained a lot of players who have since gone on to play in the Premiership and Championship, is pretty shocking.
Yeo scoring the first of his three goals against Grimsby
Those three goals sparked Yeo's only truly consistent
goalscoring form of his Lincoln career.
Grimsby on the other hand were on the back of two relegations in a row and were lower midtable. Their season was pretty much over already, not in danger of the drop but no-where near escaping midtable.
For my match report from my old Lincoln City site - CLICK HERE (please note that I have not edited that link since the day it was written).
Few Lincoln fans in attendance wouldn't fail to have this on their favourite away games and it was a near perfect day for City. Things would move on massively from that game for the Imps as Simon Yeo, who suddenly entered the only period of his Imps career where he was consistently scoring, fired the Imps up the table and into the Playoffs, although City would again lose out, this time to Steve Tilson's Southend United.
Grimsby on the other hand continued to have a nothing season, finishing midtable. The clubs would go on to meet several times over the next few seasons. City's 5-0 win at Sincil Bank in the 2005/6 season was the only game they didn't lose of the four meetings that season, whereas a 2-0 win in December 2006 would turn out to be the last time at the time of writing that City have beaten Grimsby, since then the Mariners have had excellent form against the Imps and have won more than half the meetings that the sides have had in all competitions this millennium.
RUSHDEN AND DIAMONDS 1 LINCOLN CITY 4 - 2004/5 SEASON
The main thing I remember about this game, or at least before it, was that I went there with a torn ankle ligament. I had been playing football just before the coaches were due to leave and I stupidly decided to shoot with my right foot (I'm left footed) but completely lost my balance and, long story short, fucked my ankle.
It must have been a sign of my dedication at the time that I didn't go to hospital, no, I instead went to the game and it must have been quite a sight to see a guy (as I was at the time) just hopping around Northamptonshire without the aid of a crutch. I assure you that hoping around for long periods of time is very tiring....especially to the top of a stand......god knows how the hell I managed to hope up that away end.
After a lot of hopping I finally got to settle into the ground to watch Playoff chasing Lincoln do battle with relegation threatened Rushden and Diamonds. I had a Kidderminster supporting friend at the time and he also had a keen eye on the result as they were fighting with Rushden to avoid relegation. Lincoln on the other hand were still in the fight for automatic promotion.
For my match report from my old Lincoln City site - CLICK HERE (please note that I have not edited that link since the day it was written).
Lincoln would go on to make the Playoffs but fail again, whereas Rushden would avoid relegation at Kidderminster's extent, but it would only delay their own relegation, which was confirmed a year later as they went down with Oxford United. Rushden and Diamonds went out of business in 2011.
As for me, I eventually went to hospital after getting back home, checking in at around midnight, nine hours after I had torn the ligament. Simon Chanter had stayed with me whilst I was waiting for a taxi, and I don't think I ever actually thanked him for that.
Drewe "Elbows" Broughton would later go on to play (and I use that term loosely when it comes to drew) for the Imps and City joined a long list of sides to be relegated with Drewe in the team.
BARNET 0 LINCOLN CITY 5 - 2006/7 By the time Lincoln City headed to Barnet in the 2006/7 season, the best footballing side in the division had already broken three club records that season. This was only in October and the Imps had recorded their best ever start to a season, as well as recording the longer run of consecutive away wins and home draws (six each). It was turning into a great season to be a Lincoln fan, at that point anyway. We were playing by far the best football in the division, and combined with the fact that a lot of teams were expecting us to play the hoofball from Keith Alexander's reign, we stunned a lot of teams.
I could have chosen any number of away games from this season. A 3-1 win over Wycombe, 2-1 at Peterborough's side full of former Lincoln players, management and coaches, a 1-0 win at Swindon to go top of the league, a 2-1 win at league leaders Walsall on TV or an excellent 2-2 draw at Milton Keynes Dons in a game that had everything (and I do mean everything - Last minute goal, a red card, a scored penalty, two missed penalties, amongst numerous other things.
I had travelled down with my friends Andy and Nigel, and I was also doing the videos at the time. Nigel refused to predict scorelines so Andy jokingly said "Nigel thinks it's going to be 5-0," ..........
For my match report from my old Lincoln City site - CLICK HERE (please note that I have not edited that link since the day it was written).
That win was the first of two in a week that saw the Imps score 12 goals as we beat Rochdale 7-1 at Sincil Bank the following week (we'll ignore the 0-0 draw with Grimsby in the Johnstone's Paint Trophy inbetween) and City were just brilliant. Things wouldn't last though as City ended the season very badly and only just made the Playoffs, losing out to Bristol Rovers.
TORQUAY UNITED 2 LINCOLN CITY 3 - 2009/10 SEASON When you're on a coach for six hours to go to an away game, you know you've got to make your own entertainment and that's exactly what we did. There's one Lincoln fan who literally doesn't listen to what you're saying and will just give a generic answer, and when we asked "Are you going in the seating or in the terrace?" the response we got was simply "Yes".....so from that point onwards, no matter what the question, we jokingly said yes to everything.
Davide Somma - 9 goals in 14 appearances in a Lincoln shirt
Not bad for someone who a lot of people slagged off before he
had even played a single minute for the club
Both sides went into the game in the relegation battle, although City had a brilliant chance of survival with numerous impressive loan signings, including Aston Villa's Chris Herd and Leeds striker Davide Somma, who came to the club without a goalscoring reputation but would soon establish himself as a force to be reckoned with. Looking back on it, Chris Sutton may have been tactically shit, but he did get us some good players at this club....well....on loan anyway.
Anyway.......for my match report from my old Lincoln City site - CLICK HERE (please note that I have not edited that link since the day it was written).
Both sides would eventually survive quite comfortably that season, and the Somma move was beneficial for everyone. He near enough single-handedly kept City up towards the end of the year, he went back to Leeds and they knew they had a striker who could score, and Somma himself would go on to make his international debut soon afterwards, although he would get a serious injury that would halt his progression at Leeds. Chris Herd also went on to feature for Aston Villa's first team on several occasions.
Much like Rushden though, Lincoln's relegation had only been postpone as the club were relegated a year after Somma had saved us.
Recently, well I say recently, for a lot of my life, I have contemplated what happens after we die and I've heard many theories. Obviously there's the religious theories that, if you choose to believe a book, you will go to a new existence that will be determined by how you lived your life, then there's the complete polar opposite of that in that nothing happens, you just die and that's it, I'm not sure quite where I fall in between there, although I know one thing for sure, I'm not going to base my opinions on what a book says.
Don't get me wrong, I am not against religion, I think it serves a good purpose in the sense that it tries to convince people to not live their life like a twat, in other words be a nice person and you'll be well rewarded, which is a nice thought....if you choose to believe it. And there are some religions that I actually really respect, Buddhism for example, a religion where you try and find inner peace and dedicate your life to that peace, I really respect that.....not that I would ever become a buddhist because you have to give up music.....or at least according to their Wikipedia page.
Young Buddhist monks
I'm not quite sure what I believe to be precise. I know I believe in the theory of evolution because it can be proved. The reason I know it can be proved is that in my favourite podcast, RadioLab, they talked about a scientist in their "New Normal" show that pointed a gun at a fox, it's reaction would be the different between whether it lived or whether it died, in other words they were selective breeding. Several generations later and all foxes that were born started showing different visual differences and they were effectively evolving into a different type of animal. To me that proves evolution exists, however, it means precisely nothing in the debate of what happens after we die.
Back when me and Jodi were friends, we once had a conversation about the afterlife and we sort of agreed that maybe there is some new form of existence that we inhabit, but not like a heaven or hell, but just another existence that we can't comprehend, and maybe the reason we can't comprehend it is because our brains are damaged during childbirth. Now, I know that may sound strange, but think about it, your skull, until a certain point during your childhood, is not set properly and is still, for lack of better words, soft. Now imagine what your head goes through during childbirth, your head is being impacted upon by vaginal muscles and that could cause your brain to rattle against the skull at that point, damaging your brain. It does make you wonder if that is the reason humans can only use certain areas of their brains at certain times. Without that potential brain damage, would you be able to use more of your brain?
A street preacher (albeit from a film) - You can see one of these on most major high streets at various points
One such other existence that I've heard a theory on is again from RadioLab in their "Afterlife" show. The theory in that is that you spent your afterlife reliving all of your life events again but not in the order they happened, but rather they are categorised and you move through each category. So in other words, you retake every single shower you've ever had but all at the same time, so say for example, if you only ever have 100 showers or baths during your life (eww, by the way if that is the case) and they last 15 minutes each, you would spend 1,500 minutes in the shower in the afterlife before moving onto 100 lots of 3 minutes cleaning your teeth, just over and over again. Obviously for stuff you enjoy doing, that would probably sound quite nice.
My one problem with that theory is that no matter what order you put it in, your afterlife would only last as long as your actual life did, so what actually happens after that?
I think the true frustration in life is that no-one will ever truly know. Some people think they know (i/e religious people or the athiests) and some of those will annoyingly try to force their opinions on everyone, but no-one will ever truly know. I imagine that's what drives the athiests mad, they know if they're wrong then they will have the religious people gloat and if they're right, they don't get to gloat themselves, they are in a no-win situation on that level.
So I don't know what happens after we die, I have no idea. I would like there to be some sort of afterlife....preferably a pleasent one, but I'm not going to like those people who are so afraid of what might happen that they live a sheltered life,
In two weeks I will be returning with my away day videos and I think that it's time to review the history of those videos.
Back in 2006 I started a project that would turn into an excellent opportunity for me, I started doing a video diary of Lincoln City's away games. I had been inspired by various attempts on television to do similar videos, including "Football's Hardest Away Days", one of my favourite TV shows to this day. It all started with an away game against Hereford and it was a pleasure to do them at the time as City were awesome on the road, infact seven of the first eight videos we did saw City victories, the only blight on the record being a loss at Boston United.
Things soon turned sour though as Lincoln's form became very sour, however, at the time I was a very positive person and gained the nickname of "The Great White Hype" for my method of always belittling our opponents and making Lincoln sound like world beaters. Midway through the second season and I got an invitation from Virgin Media to enter their "Biggest Football Fan" competition and I eventually finished as runner up. The videos were also featured in Zoo magazine and all the success started going to my head.
Moving to Nottingham in 2008 saw me start to fall behind with the videos. I was still going to every away game but by now doing the videos felt like such a chore, especially as I was already working two jobs at a combined 90 hours a week. I was still trying to do videos on a regular basis but even after moving to Lincoln, my commitment to doing them was seriously failing and then, in October 2010, a trip to Southend United proved to be the last video I would do on the old account after they complained to Youtube about my filming inside of Roots Hall, and Youtube closed my account.
I opened up a new one straight away but my commitment was now even lower than before as I struggled to be bothered, especially as City soon started heading for relegation as I started again. My commitment in the Blue Square Premier did improve slightly, but a 3-1 win over Colwyn Bay in the FA Trophy proved to be the last match I would do for the videos before now as I closed the channel, as well as my website.
Now I am returning though, re-energised and raring to go. I have a lot of new friends to have an impact on the videos and with the escapades of the Bantre (no, not banter) bus to come, the videos should be very interesting. I am also aiming of a MINIMUM of half an hour per video.
Hopefully they will be as much fun to make as they were when I first started.
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