Part 2 of 2 done, now onto becoming Kate

Hello all

Firstly, onto the song of the moment. This week it's "Duality" by Slipknot. Now, I'm not much of a Slipknot fan but they're great if you're in a bad mood, and that's how I have spent most of the last week or so, so yeah, this describes quite well how I have spent most of the time since my last blog entry.

As some of you know, it has been a bit of a difficult week for me, and a select number of you know exactly why. It's nothing I can get into but let's put it this way, I did something that almost completely fucked everything up. I won't go into more details but let's put it this way, what I'm about to write wouldn't have happened if I wasn't as lucky as I was.

Either way, despite the positivity of today, I can't wait for this week to just be over.

But anyway. Back in September I took my first official steps towards becoming Kate on a physically level. I was told that although there were no obvious reasons why I couldn't start becoming physically female, I would first need to have a blood test done and have a psychiatric evaluation, well today I completed the latter part of that after having the blood test several weeks ago, so hopefully everything is now in place and works out so that I can begin the process of becoming a woman.

The blood test is a bit of a sketchy area for myself as I am looking at the numerous pieces of paper and it means precisely nothing to me. All I can see is a lot of words and numbers on a bit of paper, I have no idea what is actually means, afterall, I'm not a trained doctor. I have been told by my GP that all is fine with the results and that I haven't got any blood diseases, which is always good to hear, but whether the test results are good in  away that means I can start the hormones then all is good.

With regards to the psychiatric evaluation, well, that's a bit up in the air as it's all down to interpretation. I mean I hope it went well, the psychiatrist didn't give any indication that something was amiss or that she would recommend that I don't start on the hormones, so hopefully everything will work out fine. I will officially find out on December 4th whether I can start hormones or not, but all being good, I will finally start the physical journey of becoming a woman.

It's quite strange in many ways because this is a time that I never thought would happen. I have always wanted to be female but I just thought it would be one of those things that I would never actually do. I always thought it would be one of those things that would never become more than just a dream, so I can't put into words how strange it is that it is happening. Although this might also sound weird, it's also strange when people refer to me in a female context at the moment. For example, I was in a conversation with two other people last week and when referencing me they said "but she might mean something else," and although I am delighted to be on my way to becoming female, being referred to in a female context is one of the strangest feelings at the moment, but in a good sense.

I think it's one of many things that will take a bit of time getting used to. For example, I imagine it will take a bit of getting used to having breasts (such as the weight of them, the movement, and various other parts that relate to those, or having (and having no choice about it) to sit down whenever I go to toilet, there are so many small differences that are going to take a while to get used to, but it's something that I am looking forward to in so many senses because at least having to get used to them means that I will actually be who I want to be and be living how I want to live. It's an exciting prospect that although I am nervous as hell about, I am also eagerly anticipating.

Anyway, until next time.

Peace out!