Blog Entry 100 : It's amazing how quickly things change

Hello all

This is blog entry 100 and I've been looking at the previous 99 and it's amazing how you change over time. This blog contains a lot of links to previous blog entries as well.

If you go all the day back to December and the first blog entry (So Another Year Gone) it seems really strange that I talk about various things that seem bizarre now. I talk about how good my friendships with Jodi and Megan were, one of whom I am no longer friends with and the other I only speak to for about five minutes every few months, whereas I mention having a big argument with another girl in September, who I am now good friends with again.

In that blog was also a common theme that developed early on and that was contemplating my future in England, and in several blogs I talk about plans to move to America or Canada in full on details. It was this that also made me question my love of football for quite some time, it felt futile and I wasn't getting on with most Lincoln fans at the time (More to Life Than Football). I even closed my website after nearly nine years (Five Days On and Why I Gave Up 8 and a half years of Hard Work).

It was also around this time that I started my diet (Day 1 Of the Diet). I was on a my good friend Charlie and she took several pictures, and in every one I had an horrendous double chin and at this point in my life I weighed around 18 stone 11. Due to these pictures and motivation from the aforementioned Jodi, I got a genuine start to the diet and I lost a LOT of weight. Infact, at the time of writing, I weigh about 16 stone 2, and whilst I am not going to reach my target of 14 stone 3, I am delighted to have lost nearly 3 stone this year. I feel a lot better for it.


Despite things going well and work and in some aspects, I am struggling at this time with many aspects and start relying on friends too much. (I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends). Looking back at it five months on, I was ridiculously selfish at the time and was only concerned about my own problems. For example, I consider Charlie to be one of my best friends, but at the time I was only talking about one specific subject with her, and it wasn't only her. This resulted in my friendship with Jodi falling apart and although at first it was a relief, I did struggle for some time to come to terms with it (One of the Strangest Feelings I've Ever Had) and I often flip-flop between my emotions over it (Non, je ne regrette rien, Being Blinded By Pure Emotion and Desire and Maybe It's Time to hit "Restore to Factory Settings") and it's only with the help of friends, both good friends and from unexpected sources, that I was eventually able to recover.


It was at this time that I decided to become female after years of wanting to do it. I write a few blogs hinting at this, ranging from the subtle ones where I just talk about transsexuality in general (Transsexuality, Difference and a Beautiful Canadian), to those where I talk about my emotions about the situation without mentioning it (This Shit Just Got Real). A lot of kind words have been used to describe me since I revealed my desire to become female to you all (10,156 Days of Frustration) and every day of living as Kate still feels very strange, and 15 days on I have still only gotten one bit of abuse from someone, and that was someone who was driving by.


And finally a few months ago I moved to Newark to be closer to work (Goodbye Lincoln) and it's been an interesting experience (In Newark).


So a lot has changed in seven months. I have debated whether to move to another country, lost someone who, at the time, I thought I wouldn't be able to live without and started doing something I have always wanted to do and various other little things. It also shows me how funny life can be sometimes as in one blog (The Bantre Bus) I say the I have known a girl called Michelle for a year but never spoken to her, but three months after writing that blog, we have become friends and although some of our plans have gone a bit awry, she is a delightful young lady.


Hopefully the next 100 blog entries will have as much in them as the last 99 have.