My Baz Luhrmann moment

Hello all

In 1997 there was an article produced in the Chicago Tribune called ""Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young" and that was eventually turned into a song by Baz Luhrmann. It is basically a piece about advice on things you should do. I has turned into something of an inspiration for myself as it holds a lot of things that I think are very true.

So, I have decided to share with you three things that I live by these days and hopefully some of them can inspire you like that song inspires me.

Don't dream dreams, live them

As most of you probably know, I am currently planning to undergo a sex change. After spending nearly 28 years of my life as Nathan, the last five/six weeks of living as Kate have been fantastic. My only regret with spending the last five/six weeks as Kate is that I didn't do it sooner. I spent my entire live dreaming of the life that I am on the verge of and I hate that I didn't take this opportunity sooner.

If you have a dream, or an ambition, do everything you can to realise that dream/ambition. The only person stopping you is yourself. If you want it badly enough then you'll find a way to do it. Obviously be realistic with your targets though, as disappointment will only follow if you set your targets unrealistically.

Do everything you can to live your life the way you want to live it. We only get one chance to live how we want to live, do you really want to look back at pictures of yourself now when you're in your 70s and realise that now was the best chance to do what you wanted to do.

Don't live a life of regret, do what you want and more importantly how you want to.

If it is important to you then don't look for excuses not to do it, look for the inspiration to finally do it.  

Obviously I realise that the amount of people who are reading this blog who are/will be changing their gender is quite slim, but the general message remains the same. Whether it's something like changing your gender, or something small like buying a dress that you've wanted to buy for a long time, go for it. If it's what you want then go for it. Don't let others tell you that you can't do it or that you shouldn't, do it. Do it for you and not for others. 

Go for it. What's the worst that could happen?

Review, don't regret

I look back on situations I've had during my life that would have seen me live a completely different life and it's strange in the sense that even the smallest decisions can change everything?

It's natural to look back on moments during your life and try and figure out how much of a different they would have made. My one big "what if" moment came back in 1999 when I had fallen in love with a girl called Becky Lavelle. Me and her had become good friends as we lived near each other and often walked back together off of the bus from school. One night we were both at a party and a romantic song came on and she wanted to dance with me. She offered her hand and I turned her down. What If? 

Do I regret rejecting her request? On some levels, yes. Who knows where it would have lead, but I wouldn't be the person I am today if I had accepted her hand. I believe that the person you are is better than the person you could have been in a "what if" situation as you never know how you would have changed. Yes, the immediate situation could have easily been better, but long term would it be better? You never know.

Don't regret not taking a chance that's presented to you, you may regret it short term but on the long term you could realise that it's a good thing.

You are who you are because of the opportunities you took and didn't take, don't regret your decision either way, review it and see how it's influence your life, and it will better prepare you for later life.


Tolerate the intolerant

Despite it being covered quite extensively in the media these days, there is obviously still a lot of people who severely disagree with anything from the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community, and no matter what I do, I know it will never be universally accepted.

It comes down to a famous quote - "You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time," or in short, you're never going to please everyone so don't worry about those that you can't please because they're not worth your time.

I don't get angry at those who give me abuse for wanting to be female (thankfully there aren't too many of those these days), I pity them for not being tolerant of others in their lives. If they are going to live their lives being intolerant of anything that is different to how they live their life then there's only one person who's going to suffer and it's not the person they're abusing. 


Don't give in to hating, let the disappointments drive you

Sure, get angry every now and then. There's nothing wrong with losing your temper every now and then, it's a perfectly human emotion. Point out to me a person who has never gotten angry and I guarante you at some point they have lost their temper, it's virtually impossible not to.

I used to get angry on a regular basis but then I was taught that there's no point in getting angry over things that I can't control, from that point onwards I have become quite mellow with most situations. 

Throughout my life I have had a lot of situations where I have hated people for how they negatively impacted my life. Infact, on a lot of occasions in the past I cut people out of my life completely because of how angry I used to get with them and I hated some people to such an extent that my hatred became unhealthy. I didn't deal with disappointment well but now that I have learnt not to give into hating, I see where these people have made a positive impact on me.

I look back on my friendship with Maz and I hated her for turning me into a really paranoid guy, however, now I appreciate that she, in a strange way, has helped me in the sense that I am no longer as gullible as I used to be. I used to believe anything that people told me, but Maz made me naturally suspicious of virtually anyone, and whilst this isn't ideal, it has helped as I question a lot of things now that I wouldn't have otherwise done.

When mine and Jodi's friendship ended in March I hated her for a few weeks, but looking back the situation with her has taught me that I can't get too dependant on people, especially when it gets to the point when even just a few days of not speaking to someone who I considered a close friend felt like torture. Infact, it was the end of my friendship with Jodi and the subsequent weeks of me questioning a few things mentally that convinced me it was time to become female.....almost ironic given that one of the last things she ever said to me was that she hated me talking about wanting to be female. 

I could have hated both of those girls, and many others, for how things ended and what happened, but what happened can not be changed, so what is the point in getting angry at the situation? I only wish I had realised that at the time because it would have save a lot of trouble. For what it's worth, if either Maz or Jodi read this blog, I only wish you both the best in whatever you choose to do with your lives, and as my first point in this blog goes, don't dream your dreams, live them. Don't regret anything.

Anyway, there is no point in hating people, instead of hate just take your time and look at the situation, assess it and see what the situation teaches you, and run with it. Obviously there will be people who you think will teach you nothing, but just look at every person you know, either as a friend or not, and everyone will teach you something. I know a lot of people hate me and I can't say I blame them for what I did to them, however, I hope that one day they can take lessons out of what happened like I have been doing with situations that I have come across.